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Tuesday, 24 November 2009

"New Moon" -- Movie Review (Spoilers Within)

I saw "New Moon" the other day, and have been meaning to write a review on the film. I figure now is as good a time as any. Let me begin by reminding my readers that I am nearly thirty years old, so I'm not in that "teen-Twlight-fanatic" demographic... But I did truly enjoy the novels -- escapism, FTW -- and therefore seeing the movies is second-nature.
Before I begin discussing "New Moon", I want to very briefly review "Twilight". It was a low-budget movie with some very poor acting by the female lead, Bella (Kristen Stewart). Overall, I was happy with the movie because of the in-depth character development and flowing plot, but I hoped for a better sequel after all the money the first movie made. The trailers for "New Moon" seemed exciting and had a lot of promise.
Then, I saw "New Moon". I was highly disappointed. Not only was Bella still an emotionless, uninteresting character... But even the male lead, Edward (Robert Pattinson) seemed like he would rather be taking a nap than filming, and the movie came across as a bad version of Romeo & Juliet rather than the exciting, suspenseful story in the "New Moon" novel. Up until Bella's Dad, Charlie (Billy Burke), threatens to send her to Jacksonville, the movie is spot-on. Then the crapstorm begins.
The transition from scene to scene is too rapid, and there is no time to build up suspense for what is to come. Bella's long-time friend, Jacob (Taylor Lautner), doesn't have enough scenes in the movie, and though I commend the kid on his acting, the lack of appearances misrepresents his character. He comes across as a wounded little boy with big muscles rather than the funny, confident young man he is in the book. And there is absolutely NO explanation as to why Jacob suddenly bursts into a werewolf and what the wolves' purpose is... If you didn't read about the Quileute legacy in the first book, you'd be left completely in the dark.
The Cullen family is nearly non-existent in the film, and the Volturi -- the 'royal' vampire family in Italy -- are so underemphasized that their serious natures are almost humorous. And speaking of Italy, there is almost no transition from Washington to Italy, or from Italy back to Washington... which again, if you hadn't read the book, would come across as completely confusing.
I'm glad I saw the movie -- but only because it helped me piece together some mental images of what I read in the series. But overall, poor acting + misrepresentation - suspense and feeling = a disappointed viewer.
If you've seen "New Moon", what did you think about it?

Thursday, 19 November 2009

4 Things Every Woman Should Know

As I did once before, I'm doing the female version of an original post by Mr. Spaz. However, I didn't want to come off as being sexist, so nothing is mentioned here about cooking or cleaning. :)
1. How To Give A Breast Self-Exam
With breast cancer on the rise and the proven truth that early detection is key, knowing how to give a breast self-exam (BSE) is crucial information. Since routine mammograms (x-rays of the breast) are traditionally recommended after age 40, the BSE is a woman's first defense against cancer of the breast. Click the link below for BSE instructions -- detecting a change in breast tissue could save your life.
BREAST SELF-EXAM INSTRUCTIONS
2. Basic Self-Defense Techniques
We've all felt threatened (or at least paranoid) at some point. Walking along a creepy street, in a dimly-lit parking garage later than we hoped, leaving a grocery store just before it closes, etc... The optimist wants to believe that they are safe, but the realist must prepare for the worst. It's extremely important to know how to defend yourself if a menacing person approaches you. Click the link below for access to a site with helpful self-defense tips and recommendations.
SELF-DEFENSE FOR WOMEN
3. Basic Must-Have Wardrobe Items
Not that stocking your closet is anywhere NEAR as important as items 1 & 2, but I thought it this was still good information. Often, women are distracted by flashy and catchy prints, patterns, and labels... But they end up with a closet full of things they have only worn once. It's smart to have a few reusable essentials, ones you can pair up with other pieces so you can get your money's worth. There's some definite clicking involved, but the article below lists the items you need to make a wardrobe work for you.
WOMENS' CLOTHING ESSENTIALS
4. How To Prepare To Leave In An Emergency
I like to consider myself prepared for an emergency. It could be a hurricane, moving out when the "shitola hits the fanola", death/injury in the family, a fire, etc... We may have people in our lives who we assume will help us get our wits together in an emergency, but it's important to be able to handle it alone, just in case. Imagine trying to make a mental list of what you need when your mind is already frantic!! The key is having everything in a designated place where you can find it (and store it) quickly... I find that an Emergency Evacuation list is good to go by; it may be a little extreme in some cases, but you can certainly skip the sections that don't apply.
EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS
I hope this is helpful to you, Ladies!
"And under the bridge lived a great ugly troll..."

This is not really a blog, per sé -- just a pulse that is too long to post as a pulse.
I loathe Xanga trolls. We all know who these people are... They try to seem 'hardcore' as they make comments that aren't relative to the blog they're trolling. They participate in arguments with random people. They have the same presence as a five-year-old in Time Out -- you can visualize the e-Pouting as they type callow and infantile responses when they get schooled. They boast about being good-looking, sexy, smart, and funny... yet they waste time fighting with strangers on a website rather than associating face-to-face. So it begs the question: how good-looking, sexy, smart, and funny could they actually be?
To top it off, when a particularly snarky troll comes along, you visit their site to see what kind of content they are contributing, since it seems they have nothing positive to say on anyone else's blog. And what do you find? They have either a) enabled friends-lock, b) NEVER posted at all, or c) posted a series of ridiculously lame blogs that wouldn't be entertaining after downing a bottle of Pinot Noir.
Ahhhh, the Xanga Troll: without them, the community would have no one to ridicule.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

What was your most painful break-up?

My first husband, a Naval Officer who was seven years my senior, delivered the news that he'd filed a divorce through an email from the ship before it deployed. I was 8.5 months pregnant with our child, and he decided he wasn't "capable" of caring for me or the baby the way we deserved. This was painful, for obvious reasons. But the worst part is that he waited until I was near delivery and already terribly sensitive, rather than being honest with me early on and saving some of the horror I faced.
We'd had an argument when we were newly engaged, and I told him I didn't feel like he was sincere about wanting to get married... that it seemed merely out of convenience because he was lonely sometimes. He begged and pleaded for days, telling me I was "all he wanted in the world" and he would "make it up to me for the rest of our lives". He even pretended everything was great up to the point of the email, at which point he dropped the bomb with no chance of reconciliation -- his mind was made up.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can My answer it too!
Things I've come to realize...

When I outgrew MySpace, I thought I'd also put away my desire to fill out ridiculous surveys. But, because it's been so long, I feel like doing one. :)
1. I've come to realize that my boobs...
aren't as perky as they once were -- but I still like them.
2. I've come to realize that my job...
should not define my soul.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
I hate worrying about everyone around me being a reckless douchebag.

4. I've come to realize that I need...
quality time with myself.
5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
some patience, some imagination, and some fantasies as I've aged.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I have to babysit my spouse. *sigh*

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
it must be New Year's Eve. lol.

8. I've come to realize that money...
means less when you're unhappy.

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
will never be thoughtful or considerate of others.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always...
be meatier than a supermodel.

11. I've come to realize that my sister...
and I will never be close.

12. I've come to realize that my mom...
is much wiser than the words she uses.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
needs to be ignored sometimes.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
that I never go to bed early enough.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
that my husband is much sweeter than I give him credit for.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
of ways to breeze through the rest of this survey -- but I wont, because I'm thorough.

17. I've come to realize that my dad..
may be a laidback slowpoke, but that's what my life needs in it.
18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
it's only to waste time.

19. I've come to realize that today...
is the first day of the rest of my life.

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
I will spend quality time with my son.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
my husband and I have a brunch date. :D

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
take a nap.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is....
no one that I know personally. lol.

24. I've come to realize that life...
is short, bittersweet, but all mine to navigate.